Garlic and Caesar... who wants more?

Today for lunch I had Grilled Chicken Caeser by Lean Cuisine. It is described as "white meat chicken, broccoli& garlic flavored radiatore pasta in a parmesan caesar sauce" and it did not disappoint. The chicken picked up a lot of the garlic and caesar flavor making every bite delicious. There was plenty of radiatore, once of my personal favorite pasta shapes to cook with, that was perfectly cooked. The pasta didn't have a "dry" taste that I have run into in the last couple weeks. The broccoli seemed a little overcooked, but then again when is it any better in any other meal. I think someone should invest in broccoli microwave technology... or make some sort of broccoli hybrid that can withstand microwave radiation. My fear is if the powers that be did something like that there would be all of these failed experiments, one of them resulting in giant-man eating broccoli that levels cities. On that thought, I guess I will stick to soggy broccoli for now.

The cooking instructions where standard with one exception, the timing of the instructions were perfect. Since I follow the instructions every time to a T I sometimes find that when the instructions tell me to stir the food it is still mostly frozen, but not in this case. When I lifted the plastic to stir the pasta the room filled with the garlic caesar aroma and made my mouth water. Imagine my dismay when one of the radiatore pastas tried to escape onto the counter top... I ate him for his insolence. (I had to set an example for the others) Each bite that I had was better than the last, I just about licked the countainer that it was cooked in it was that good. I think I would have if I wasn't wearing such a nice shirt too. :) This was so good I just thought to myself "garlic... caesar... who wants more?" What a great flavor profile to combine and it made an amazing frozen meal.

I know this review is so silly and wonky but I was so excited after eating this it put me in a great mood. They really outdid themselves with this one, and it is "diet". I suggest any fan of garlic or caesar to try this food, it was so delicious.

In a word this meal was very delightful!

Cook time: 3 minutes, stir then 1 minute

Stand Time: 1-2 Minutes

Nutritional information found here.

Chef Inspired!

So what can I say about Hot Pockets that Jim Gaffigan hasn't already said? They are pretty much the lowest rung on the "microwaved-food food-chain". I figured that there are certain staples out there that everyone has had, and that I could take for granted that they have tried. I think Hot Pockets have had thier day in the spotlight between constant comericials in the 90's to Jim Gaffigan's entire 2 hour rant about them on HBO. Regardless, I knew that if I did a Hot Pocket review the product would have to really stand out for me, and then one day it hit me. I was walking down the frozen food isle in Wal-Mart and at the frozen food encap, and I saw a new Lean Pocket variety of Hot Pockets, it said "Simply Delicious" on its packaging. Delicious happening to be one of my many favorite words I knew I had to pick these up.

The preperation of these were simple like they always are. When you cook them just put the hotpocket in the microwave sleave and presto! You will than have boiling hot lava in the center of your hot pocket. The particular flavor was the Spinach Artichoke flavor that promised that it was "chef inspired". Is being chef inspired anything like being a couch potato and claiming to be the quarterback for the New York Jets because that gives you an idea how closely related they are. If a chef made hot pockets it would be called strombolli, if a quarter back ran 50 yards it'd be a touchdown and not cardiac arrest. I guess what I am trying to say is that this meal is no more "chef inspired" than I am by looking at a poster of a kitten hanging from a tree that reads "hang in there".

The meal was pretty tasteless overall. Every once in a while I would get a string of mystery cheese that would bridge between my mouth and the hot pocket (which is always fun, it makes me feel like I am in a commercial.) The "grilled chicken" was closer to chicken than the Hungry Man meal that I ate yesterday so that is always a plus. Overall it was still pretty disappointing, even for a hot pocket.

There was so many things that pissed me off about this meal. The fact that the instructions called the hot pocket a sandwich being the main one. The silly sleave that you cook your hot pocket also doubles as a holder now.. wahoo. What I always wanted. The final thing being that the description of the product is "Grilled white meat chicken, artichoke and low fat cheese with spinach in a crust" After reading that I decided that the Hot Pocket marketing team outsourced that description to India. Here is what I would have written, had I actually cared... "Grilled white meat chicken, with fresh artichokes and spinach in a creamy low fat cheese sauce served in a flaky pastry crust" Bam! If you need help let me know... jackasses

In a word this meal was simply tasteless.

Cook Time: 2 minutes 15 Seconds

Nutritional Information found here.

Bad Decision

Have you ever seen or done something that made you a little gun shy to do the same thing again? Like if you take a sexual harassment class you will be hesitant to say something off color for at least a couple days after the class. I hope you can relate to that analogy because I know that it is that way for me and I certainly say a lot of off color remarks, but I am working on that. Well, I will be a lot more hesitant to try Asian Inspired frozen food by almost any brand now. Yesterday I had the Thai-something-something by Never-try-this-crap-again, or was it Smart Ones… It was, now I am sure of it. It was weight Watcher's Smart Ones: Thai Style Chicken & Rice Noodles from their Bistro Selections.

This has been the only meal I think I have had where the picture on the box didn't look nearly as good as the food inside. I was really surprised by their lack of effort on their packaging for this product. When I micro-waved the meal it smelled all right so every early indication of my meal was that it was going to be pretty good. After the initial stand time of the meal I stirred everything together and looked pretty good like I mentioned. Fortunately for the reader I took pictures on my journey as I ate what would be considered a bad decision at the end of the day.
I really went against my better judgment when I bought this because I did think "how good can Asian diet food be?" After my first bite I wasnt so uphauled by the taste as the texture. The food left a filmy residue in my mouth. I have never had that from rice noodles or any microwave food.

At this point I didn't want to eat anymore, but my momma didn't raise no food waisting fool.

After a long meal, and much regret I managed to almost clean my plate.

I took a deep breath and inhaled the rest of my food so I could say that I had ate the entire meal.

I wasnt very happy with myself after eating all of that and my stomach let me know he wasn't happy. That brings me to wonder, if my stomach had a voice who's voice would it sound like. I would like to think it would sound like Mr. T when it was angry at me, but realistically it would sound more like Mort Goldman from Family Guy. For now I am just going to pretend my stomach's voice is Christopher Walken, the greatest actor of all time!

So in short, todays meal was without a doubt not a bit delightful.

Cook Time: 3 Minutes... (or something just dont eat this)

Stand Time: 2 minutes (I remember that at least)

Time til I had to rush to the bathroom: 2 Minutes

Nutritional information on the Weight Watchers website, and it was 5 points for those counting.